your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
