5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
