I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
