my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
