K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
sex in a hospital.. check
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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