he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
