My hand turned me down
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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