Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
