who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
