no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
