I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
