There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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