I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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