My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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