I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
