Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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