what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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