FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
