I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
