normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
