i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
