then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
