I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
