When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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