you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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