Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize