So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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