What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
This is my gift to your gina
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
