yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
