someone get that fucking seahorse.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
True college students do jello shots in the library
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
