ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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