Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
