what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
