i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
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I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
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Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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