I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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