She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I will be naked everywhere
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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