whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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