You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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