Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
