I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
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