so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Farmville is her only friend.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
