ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
