i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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