How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
