it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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