I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The power of my boobs compel you
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
