I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
