I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
