Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
