i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
