Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
