I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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