wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
