Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
