Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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