Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
