Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Soap is not a condiment
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
