69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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