This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Quick, to the slutcave!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
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