That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
