see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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