Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
