He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
