why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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