i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
