so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize