i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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